If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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