Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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