Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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