Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
