She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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