you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
