Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
