just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
