He uses pillows to masturbate.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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