I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
