Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
