it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
