Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize