My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
