How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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