Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
