i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
