I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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