On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
