thus making me awesome and them whores
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
