sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
