I looked at my own cervix.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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