She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think people are normalizing furries
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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