Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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