he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
