She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's get the cat blown out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
