There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
