literally had 100 drinks last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize