I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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