The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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