Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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