mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have feelings that need drinking.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
