hell yes lets make some ravioli
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
