just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
