am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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