i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
