Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
