New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
