i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
