I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
