what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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