where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
