My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
