i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
