This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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