just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
