My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
