Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
