we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize