if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you inspire me to be a worse person
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize