the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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