So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
