So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
