So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
