Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
