I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She bit a glass in half.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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