at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
